If I had one wish...

My little brother often asks me "if you had one wish, what would it be?"

Usually I'd blow his pestering questions off, as he is at the stage where they fire approximately 10 questions at per minute (this is not an entirely accurate statistic). But this time I actually thought about it. I have no doubt that a simple answer such as flying, super strength, money would have sufficed. I answered that I would wish to be fearless, to which my brother  replied "err I think I'll just wish for an unlimited amount of money" I was slightly disappointed by the lack of thought he put into his own question not to mention how shallow of a wish it is.
But just imagine the possibilities of having no fear and I'm not an idiot, I do recognise that fear is needed for survival. But how about the fear of trivial, non-life-threatening things like wearing whatever the hell you want and voicing your opinion as you please? Like why can I not just start singing when I have this song I heard on the radio this morning stuck in my head? Because I'm scared, just absolutely petrified of people, the same species as I am but nonetheless terrifying. And it's just strange to think that it would be considered a superpower to be fearless but those who are, in my eyes are both invincible and extinct.

What could have been...

"Imperfection is beauty, madness is genius and it's better to be absolutely ridiculous than absolutely boring."- Marilyn Monroe

I had always looked up to Marilyn, her very essence oozes exuberance, her norm-breaking approach to life was what I found so desirable and it was probably because I lacked that attitude myself.

I'm the type of person that like's to play it safe, safe is good and it get's me by and that's the problem with safe because all it actually does is get me by, I realise that I don't take risks if I can help it, every move I make is calculated (mentally, though physically I'm a total klutz) and I live in utter fear of messing up. I absolutely hate it when things don't go according to plan, it throws me off balance. The worst part is that my life can actually be described as...mediocre.

What I understand now is that I can't expect things to just fall into place, life is designed to keep us proactive, something to mould and take control of. A great example of one of the times that I've expected things to just fall into place is when I met this guy I really liked and he liked me too, we got really close but I had no way of contacting him outside of college, I planned to get his number but I always either get scared or just expect him to ask me first simply because he's the guy, long story short he left and I'll probably never see him again. To be honest this has happened more times than I am proud to say and I am determined for it to be the last time.