The rebound's rebound

There are two things you should never ever play with: feelings and food.

This week I found myself toying recklessly with both. I had this distorted thought that it might bring me satisfaction to do things out of my nature in hopes to numb myself of the misery I feel inside. Recently I had caught this horrid infection that has been around since the beginning of time - feelings. The fatal kind, unrequited feelings. 

It pains me to admit that I wear my heart on my sleeves and that this wouldn't be the first time, yet I fall over and over and over again. Mentally something clicked or should I say snapped? I'd had enough. I am so tired of being the one who was left feeling void, broken and hurt, what I invested is worth more than money, more than silver or gold, I invested my heart and got nothing back. Now it's my turn to have fun, to break a couple of hearts and test out the bad boys, the type of boys your parents always warned you to stay away from. There will be no emotions and no guilt.

However my plan was flawed. I had always been a good girl, driven by emotions, right and wrong were always as clear as black and white, my values and morals refused to be thrown out of the windows over night. They have been cemented deep into my mind.

I found my first candidate, well he found me which was strangely convenient. The arrangement was rather easy and straight forward, there were not as much complexities as there would have been with feeling involved. We merely wanted to know how we could be of use to each other...scratch my back and I'll scratch yours. Talking online was easy, I was in the comfort of my house behind this screen, it was when we met up that I began to think rationally, I didn't want to be there, it was cold and I hadn't eaten anything the whole day but I went ahead. It felt like an out of body experience, it was as if someone else was in control of my limbs and muscles. Without feelings I'm not myself and honestly the whole experience was degrading but I don't regret it, I learned a very valuable lesson.

He's too...nice. (The "Bad Boy" syndrome)

And the award for the best side smirk in the year infinity goes to Ian Somerhalder

As much as you ladies would like to deny it, you like a "bad boy".

 It's factual. You like a challenge, a bit of a project to work on, you want to spend your time taming this wild beast so you can finally bring him home to Mummy and Daddy. What you don't realise is you are not an expert animal trainer and you will get scarred in the process, your thirst for a bad boy that will only be good for you can lead to tears when you discover that you can not change a guy. Don't get me wrong a guy can change for you but 99.9% of the time, he came to this realisation by himself, something has finally clicked into place for him and what you already knew, he's only just realising.

Now it is perfectly okay to want this tough, strong, borderline dangerous bad boy who for some reason has a weakness for you however, what make the nice, sweet, admirable good guy so undesirable? I mean in movies we're all for the good guy who pays the girl a lot of attention, remembers her birthday and buys her things to win the girl, he deserves her but when the "player" who's been flirting with every girl within a 5 mile radius all of a sudden pays her the slightest attention and rewards her with that sexy side smirk we all sway like daffodils in the wind - the only difference is the movie needs a satisfying ending so they can make good in the box office, so they allow you to assume that they lived happily ever after only arguing about who loves who more.

 Unfortunately folks, this isn't the way life works, in the real world the "player" will most probably cheat when he realises that he's still got his whole life ahead of him and all you want to do is change him, the good guy would turn cold on you when you come running back to where you placed him in the friend zone, he is now either going to be a prick or find some other girl who's been hurt before and welcomes his sweet kind heart.

(movies and series that predispose you to the "bad boy" syndrome: The Vampire Diaries, The Breakfast Club, 10 Things I hate About You, 90210, Pride and Prejudice, Wuthering Heights)

Ps. I'd still recommend those because they're great!