My type of love

Call me naive, I  know you will but I'll say it anyway.

 I believe in love. Yes, the kind in the movies and even more than that. I believe in an extravagant, flamboyant, infinite, be-spelling type of love. Don't get me wrong, it will at times bring you pain but you'll welcome it if it means you get to experience the rest. I think a lot of people miss out on this experience because they fail the simple yet challenging task of waiting. You settle because now, we are told that there is no such thing as "The Perfect Guy", you are being too picky, "Mr Right" is never coming along. So, naturally you go with the next Mike, Jake or Brian that comes your way and see that he's not so bad and simply roll with it. But why???
Sure we get lonely or sad watching our friends find their partners, we see couples littered everywhere on social networks and in schools and ever so often a holiday comes around that robs it in your face that you're still as single as single gets. The easy option is to settle, the better option is to keep going and never reduce your standards.
Don't get me wrong we all have different definitions of love, to you love might be someone who gets you chocolate bar daily without fail. My point is that whatever your standard is, stick to it. This is bound to reduce tears and heartbreak by approximately 98.7%  (roughly- not a mathematician).

 I have always loved these two quotes:

-Abi

Hardest thing about being a Christian...

It's probably not what you're expecting;

But one of the most difficult things that I've had to come to terms with as a Christian is the overwhelming love that God has for me. I don't know how many people will be able to relate with this issue because I now realise that this love was hard for me to accept for two reasons, the main one being my insecurities.

 The thought of someone loving me so much that they sent their only son to die for me was irrational. Who loves me so much that they always forgive me no matter how bad I mess up, who loves me so much that He gives me the grace to wake up each and everyday, who lets me live a life out of poverty and pain.

But soon this love became undeniable as He, the Most High continued to prove his love towards me, how flattering is that? to have God, the King of kings trying to prove something to me? I'd be a fool if I still don't realise by now, but thank God because I do and because of that my soul is saved.

-And there will come a time when love will not break your heart but dismiss your fears.

Amen.

Love Always
-A

Be my valentine...

Please? No? Oh okay.

I'm not here to bitch about valentine's day, my bitterness toward the tedious tradition has more or less vanished. Now I'm just curious and mature enough to admit that the bitterness stems from my jealousy of those who are lucky enough to have that significant other to make them feel special even if it is just for a day. Ever notice that is the one argument people use to criticise valentine's day - "why is there only one day dedicated to making your partner feel special? blahh blahh blahhhh". What's really wrong with that? If there can be a day dedicated to pancakes, why is the thought of a day dedicated to recognising and celebrating the love shared between two people so unbearable to some?
Now I've never had a valentine...ever (giving you a moment to all take that in and pick your jaws up from the floor after that shocking reveal ) I've just never been lucky enough to stay in a relationship long enough for valentine's day to come around. That, however doesn't mean that I lose hope and shrivel into a little, black ball of misery, I still get to enjoy the great sales on chocolates in stores, what more can I ask for? (A valentine)

Fool me once, shame on you

Fool me twice, shame on me...

I think we can all agree that an important element of living is learning from mistakes and experiences. However, this for most people can sometimes prove difficult. Take me for example, to say that I have made a plethora of mistakes would be an understatement and that is how I justify not learning from them which subsequently results in me having to repeat life's torturous lessons. It's a vicious cycle.

I used to be an excellent player in the blame game (heck- I still am). I don't usually brag but you know what they say- "it ain't braggin' if it's true". I say this because I frequently make mistake and frequently, I would have to blame someone else to make myself feel better; blame is one vile thing no one hopes to possess. My victims can range from public transport, to my brother or even the universe. With practice came perfection, perfection to the extent that even I believed my own shit (Excusez mon français). I started to think in a way that led me to believe that nothing was ever my fault and because of this, I felt powerless, I felt like I had no control; I took the back seat in my own life while letting everyone and everything else call shotgun.

As I grew, I realised that mistakes began to cost me more, a lot more. I could pass on the blame, but the pain wouldn't budge.Opening up and letting the wrong people in is one mistake that I incessantly make, I don't know what it is that makes it so easy for others to hurt me and leave me. I certainly don't know what it is that make me care any more or even worse, what makes me continue to care and forgive those who wouldn't do the same for me.

"I have found the paradox, that if you love until it hurts, there can be no more hurt, only more love."

                        -Mother Teresa

Moving on...

Every single person will have to learn to move on at some point in their life, whether it be from the first house you had all your first memories in, your first school, your favourite pair of shoes that refuses to be worn any longer, it all requires a process of moving on to allow progression.

Even worse is moving on from a traumatic experience, one that happens and you just know you are never going to be the same afterwards. This could be loosing someone you love, not necessarily to death but just knowing they are no longer yours any more. When the love you provide stops being returned, it leaves you hollow, you are missing your daily dose of love that you so depend upon, you start to withdraw and that's when recovery has to begin. You must remember that you don't always get to gradually reduce the dosage, it just leave you dry. Cold turkey. It's like the ground under your feet has suddenly vanished or the air inside you lungs have just disappeared and moving on would be like attempting to fly or breath in space.

So if it feels like this loosing someone how do some people get over it? Personally I think it requires a mild form of amnesia. However, they must instigate this by wiping away all the physical things that could trigger a memory of this person, store it up if you must but you must get it out of your site. Delete them off social networking sites, do not try to be friends. Not yet. Just do whatever in your power to recover take it a day at a time. Then you begin to forget; first it's the eye colour...was it...blue? Then the hair which might have been brown but what shade? and when you are ready you start to notice other people and how good they make you feel and you know that this time you'll do things differently, you're stronger now.

Cities I must go before I die...

I was scrolling down Tumblr, for those who don't know what Tumblr is, it's basically like Instagram's sister who suffers from Multiple Personality Disorder; there's a dark side, a funny side, a pretty side, and so on. But mostly it is very "American". I have always been very much in love with everything American, well not the political or medical side of things but everything else seems whimsical: the music; the movies; Disney land and Hollywood are all things I have been exposed to from a very young age - those are things that everyone has been exposed to from a very young age-unless you quite literally live under a rock.

Specifically I am enticed by places like San Francisco renowned for the steep hills, the ever so majestic Golden Gate Bridge, the phenomenal architecture, I could go on but we have to get to other places I fantasise about such as New Orleans. Now this is the home of jazz, the sultry celebration of Mardi Gras, famous for it's cross-cultural and multilingualism, not to mention the food and the vintage ambience. I realise that this might not be of appeal to everyone but if you are like me, as opposed to the modernised culture constantly being chugged down our throats turning us into mindless robots, New Orleans is most definitely somewhere to ensure we visit at a point in our lives. And if it's all just fabricated by the media, at least we'll get to witness it first hand and make our own judgement and used the phrase "I saw it with my own eyes" rather than "yeah I Googled it, weren't that great."